April 26, 2007

"you're such a geek...you read books."

I’m going summer stock book shopping this weekend, between packing and doing laundry.  Actually, it’s a good excuse to procrastinate on packing and doing laundry.  But I do officially start my summer in one week, so I need to build up a good summer reading list.  There are a few that I already have on my inventory, but I’m in need of some suggestions.  I always tend to lean towards certain styles of writing and I’m unable to leave a book store without purchasing a memoir or biography (Along with white long sleeve t-shirts, memoirs and biographies are a little OCD of mine).  So, I ask of you, a reader, what should I read this summer?  What are your suggestions?  I’m up for any and all you have to offer.  Below are a few I recommend.  These books are wonderful.  Most will make you laugh, and a few will make you cry.  

I suggest these:

 -My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler:  She is hilarious! I want her to write more.
-Dork Whore by Iris Bahr:  I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard.  You know her and her uproarious humor from Curb Your Enthusiasm.
-Straight Talking by Jane Green
-My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult:  This is a powerful book.  It will make you think, it will make you laugh, and it will make you cry like a helpless baby.
-Me and Emma by Elizabeth Strout:  Another one that will make you cry.
-Devil in the Details by Jennifer Traig
-Straight Up and Dirty by Stephanie Klein:  Probably one of the greatest memoirs EVER!
-A Hypocrite in a Puffy White Dress by Susan Jane Gilman
-Little Children by tom Perrota:  I loved this book
-Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris:  My favorite author.  Anything by David Sedaris is great, but my opinion is a bit bias.


What I have on my list so far:

-The Devil, the Lovers, and Me: My Life in Tarot by Kimberlee Auerbach:  Unfortunately it doesn't come out till late summer.  I don't know if I can wait that long.
-Bitter Is the New Black by Jen Lancaster
-Abide With Me by Elizabeth Strout

 

Posted by brooke alexandra at 16:41:35 | Permanent Link | Comments (2) |

February 11, 2007

come wake me up

Maybe I’m dreaming.


…she felt the way you do at night, lost in a dream you have had before and are now beginning to dream all over again: certain that it exists and certain that it will end, and you want it to end because you’re not sure you’ll be able to bear it, and you also want it to go on so you’ll know how it comes out.

-Story of O, by Pauline Reage
Posted by brooke alexandra at 10:28:45 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

January 17, 2007

rejuvenating your Va-J.J.

While reading, Ariel Levy’s Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture, I was educated on the surprisingly popular procedure called “vaginoplasty” or “vaginal rejuvenation.” Ok, first, what the hell is vaginoplasty and why would I want my vagina rejuvenated? But then again, I was clueless to what it was.  So, I read on to learn that "it is a cosmetic operation to alter the labia and vulva so they look more like the genitals one sees in Playboy or porn.”  Yes, that’s right, it’s so your Va-J.J. can look like all the other skank whores that reside in your favorite porn.  However, this procedure is for looks only.  That’s right ladies; it does not enhance sexual pleasure, contrary to what the word "rejuvenate" might lead you to believe.  No, no, no.  Surgeons warn that having “this procedure can cause painful scarring and nerve damage that impede sexual function (i.e., make the vulva painfully hypersensitive or numb?)”  YES, please, sign me up!  There’s nothing more I want than a hypersensitive numb VAGINA!  Though, apparently, there is a huge demand for it.   Now, I’ve heard about women wanting to have their clitoral hoods reattached or having their hymen sewn back together so they feel and look like a virgin again.  Seriously, do you really think your man doesn’t know that you’re not a virgin?  Please.  Once your cherry is popped, that’s it, there’s no going back and re-attaching it to the tree.  And having an expensive surgery is not going to change it. This whole idea disturbs me to no end, along with rejuvenating your vagina.  Who comes up with this stuff?  Who, I ask you…WHO?

 

*UPDATE: I wasn't saying that the clitoral hood, the hymen or cherry popping have anything to do with virginity.  I was merely saying that there are silly girls who do.  Trust me, these gullible girls are out there, they'll believe anything.
Posted by brooke alexandra at 12:22:31 | Permanent Link | Comments (4) |

January 02, 2007

I'm a whore, if only in my dreams

Lately, I’ve woke up feeling dirty, used, exploited, basically; a whore.  Though, I’ve also felt sexy, experienced, talented, basically; a sex goddess.  However, while I’m sleeping, all of these feelings get mixed together, leaving me with the question, “What happened last night?”  Now, I should tell you, the last two weeks I have went home alone, slept alone, and woke up alone.  So, from now on, there will be no more erotic, sexually explicit, or books dealing with anything sexual in the content or title before bed.
 
 The last two weeks, before bed I’ve been reading Bell de Jour: The Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl.  It is a well written book, informative, educational, insightful, detailed, strong story line with good character structure, erotic, sexually explicit, and raw.  It’s everything a book should be and more.  Though, I don’t recommend reading many chapters before bed.  That’s where I got myself into trouble.

While reading a book, if I’m really into it, I begin to place myself into the story.  Usually the main character is who I become.  But when I don’t care for the main character or I can’t relate then, I place myself in the role of the supportive character.  Sometimes the best friend is more exciting.  In Belle de Jour, the main character, Belle, is a call girl.  The opening sentence in the book is: “The first thing you should know is that I’m a whore.”  I knew from that sentence alone I was going to enjoy the book, but I had no idea I would enjoy it this much.

I have found that reading just before I fall asleep, I tend to dream what my brain has just processed, incorporating that into the events of my day.  Usually, I only remember bits and pieces, or nothing at all.  I will wake up and realize I was only dreaming, and laugh.  However, the last few mornings I’ve woke up and thought, “I need a shower.”  These dreams have been so detailed and graphic that they feel real.  I remember every detail, down to what I said, what I was wearing, what they were wearing (yeah, there was always more than one), how many times, and where.   It was THAT real.

No, I’m not complaining, the dreams are great.  But, it’s too much every night.  I’m tired.  I normally don’t sleep well, so I don’t need to add to it by reading call girl books before bed…once or twice a week is ok though.  So tonight, I’ll be reading Nigella Lawson’s, Feast.  There shouldn’t be anything sexual in a cook book, though, I find Nigella very sexy.
Posted by brooke alexandra at 12:12:25 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |