December 31, 2007

no new years resolution

I’m not making a New Year’s resolution this year. It’s a waste of time.  I never follow through with it and then I end up beating myself up about.  And I thought a New Year’s resolution is something, which as an end result should make you happy.  So this New Year 2008, I’ve decided to start off on a high note.  Instead of a New Year’s resolution I am going to begin my new year with a list of my favorite things of the moment.  They all make me smile uncontrollably and bring great joy to my life.  And for me, that’s what life should be filled with; things that bring joy to our lives. So when the bad rears its ugly head like it always does, we can rely on all the great things to pull us through.  So here is a list of a few of my favorite things (I just watched The Sound of Music, something else that makes me smile).  It’s a photo list.  It seemed like more fun than just writing one out and believe me, it was.

A Few of My Favorite Things:


Photobucket "I love it so much that I'm going to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant!"


Photobucket Anthropologie


Photobucket Everything is simply amazing


Photobucket I do, I really love them


Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket
These three women: Amy Sedaris, Tina Fey and Chelsea Handler are the funniest women.  I hold them slightly higher than everyone else.


Photobucket Photobucket Right now, I'm obsessed with Ingrid Michaelson and I've always loved Rilo Kiley, but their new album, Under the Black Light is particuarly amazing.


 Photobucket
I just started reading this one, but so far, like all her other books it's funny and great.
Posted by brooke alexandra at 13:28:19 | Permanent Link | Comments (4) |

December 23, 2007

johnathan rice

I forgot how much I love him...

 alt : http://www.youtube.com/v/URZzrOZ_O7Q&rel=1
Posted by brooke alexandra at 12:50:30 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

December 22, 2007

careful confessions

You’re back in town; you haven’t called, and I desperately want you to.  Lately, things are different.  We’ve drifted and we’ve let things go unsaid.  I haven’t seen you in months and we haven’t talked in weeks.  I blame myself, but communication works both ways.  The last time we talked, we talked about her and the problems the two of you were having.  I’ll admit it was uncomfortable and I hated to hear you speak of her in that way.  We’ve always confided ever aspect of our lives with each other; the past, present and future.  But after that night, it’s difficult when you speak of another, while I'm on the other side wishing it were me.  I love that we are intimate when it comes to conversation and we leave no detail uncovered.  And most times I enjoy that we’re just fine friends.  Maybe that’s all we ever were.  Maybe that’s all we will ever be.  Maybe that’s all we were meant to be.  Our closeness seems to have broken so easily and all the while I thought it was strong.  I’m not sure what to make of things just now, though I’ve had ample time to sort through my thoughts.  We’re thousands of miles apart, yet I find myself thinking and longing for you more.  And you’re there, miles away, spending your time with her, and it tears me apart.  Deep down, somewhere, I knew it would happen.  I should have prepared myself for the hurt.  I thought it would be easier once you left.  I thought my feelings would fade and I would forget I ever liked you in this fashion.  Now, I think I will always feel this way and I pray at night for it to change.  I pray for things to go back as they once were and sometimes I pray that you think of me and not her.  When I dream, it’s you I dream of, and at times these dreams are hell.  But there you are, day after day, on my mind.  There are days I think I’ve moved on, and I’ve let everything but our friendship go.  But at night, when I’m alone I begin to think about you.  Sometimes I wish I had the courage to tell you how I feel.  And there are so many times when I should have spoke up, admitted I felt something more.  But I was so afraid you wouldn’t feel the same and I couldn’t bare the dismissal, so I remained silent.  I would rather have our friendship, than to have nothing at all.  We know so much about each other and at times I forget just how much we know.  I know your secrets and you know mine, and I know that mine are safe with you.  Our long talks and our long walks are some of the best I’ve had.  I want us to always have this connection.  If that means I have to be still, and hold my tongue, then I will.  I want you any way I can, which is why I’m willing to let you go.  I beg, no matter how far apart, however many miles are between us, or whoever comes and goes from our lives, that our devotion and our adoration for each other will never change.  I hope we will always hold our friendship superior, high above our desire for something more.  I need you in my life, whatever shape or form.  I don’t mind being alone, just as long you’re not too far away.  And if by chance we are to be together, I pray we find each other, at the right time and the precise place, and we recognize it as it should be. But for now, you’re back in town; you haven’t called, and I desperately want you to. 
Posted by brooke alexandra at 03:15:50 | Permanent Link | Comments (2) |

December 21, 2007

depositing money, withdrawing a date

I went to the bank today to make a deposit and I came away with a date, or at least the hopes of a date.  I always go to the same bank.  I love the people there.  I know them, they know me.  One particular woman at the bank I love.  She’s sweet and funny and kind and always has a smile on her face. Even when she is not my particular teller she always makes a point to make eye contact, smile and say hello.  She always asks how I’m doing and if I’m planning any trips, and if I am, where to.  I love it.  I love her.

So, earlier this week I stopped in and she looked at my hand and then looked at me.  In shock, mouth agape, she says, “Omigod, are you engaged?”  Then I looked down at my hand, as I was clueless to what she was talking about.  And there on my left hand, sitting on my ring finger was a ring, one that my parents gave me for Christmas two years ago.  I looked back at her and smiled, “No, I’m not engaged.  It was a gift from my parents.”
 
This is not the first time this has happened.  I’ve had several people ask if I was engaged because of the ring.  The only reason I wear it on my ring finger on my left hand is because it’s the only finger it fits on.  I need to get it resized.  I definitely don’t need people thinking I’m engaged.

But anyway, back to today.  I’m there writing my deposit slip and she waves over at me to come to her window.  She says she has something to tell me.  I half expected her to tell me it’s a good thing I was making a deposit because I have no money in my account.  But instead, she says I have someone I want you to meet.  She went on to rave about him, selling him to me, telling me every good quality.  She told me he has his own business, that he’s handsome, charming and that he comes from a great family.  Then, I realize she is sugar coating it, because she starts the next sentence with the word, but.  She says, “But, he’s only 20, do you mind, does that bother you?”  And of course I said no.  I was excited and I’m cursed with the need to please everyone, so of course I said no.  But, and there’s that word again, but, now that I’m home and I’ve been able to run the entire conversation through my head, over and over, I’m a little concerned.  I’m concerned that I have a six year age advantage over him.  He’s just a baby.  And I don’t even know what he looks like.  I’ve never been on blind date before.  At least with online dating, like e-harmony or j.date you are able to view a picture, you know, have an idea what they look like.  I would at least like to know height.  I’m a tall girl and I prefer a tall guy.  But I’m going to take a chance.  I gave her my number to give to him.  Levi, that’s his name.  I like that, Levi.  I like the sound of it.  But who knows, age may be the least of my worries, he may not even call.  So until then, I’ll sit and imagine what he looks and what his voice sounds like and how mature he is to only be 20.
Posted by brooke alexandra at 15:58:46 | Permanent Link | Comments (6) |

December 18, 2007

story people tuesday: unheard music

I have decided to designate Tuesday’s as “Story People” Day.  If you are not familiar with Story People and creator, Brian Andreas and his people, then you can read about who they are here.  They are a group of fascinating artists and storytellers who collide and make beautiful, meaningful, spiritual, emotional and many times humorous art.  I have several of their pieces displayed on my walls.  I look at them everyday and smile.  Each one makes me recall a particular memory, moment, or person and I like that.  I like remembering. So from now on, every Tuesday I will display a particular sculpture or story that corresponds with my life on that particular Tuesday.  And feel free to share your story if, no, when these amazing people cause you to remember.


 Story People Tuesday:

"Don't you hear it? she asked & I shook my head no & then she started to dance & suddenly there was music everywhere & it went on for a very long time & when I finally found words all I could say was thank you."

This piece I have hanging in my room on the wall facing my bed.  It is the first thing I see when I wake-up and the last thing I see when I fall asleep, and I like it that way.  It has somewhat of a literal meaning for me.  The moment I read it for the first time I thought of Stephanie, a friend of mine who is a professional dancer with the West Virginia Dance Company.  The first time a saw her dance this very thing happened to me.  I was in awe of her.  When she danced I felt her.  It is an experience that is hard to describe.  My eyes gravitated towards her and then I was locked there for what felt like eternity, mesmerized by her movement.  My heart stopped and I forget to breathe.  I became lost in the music and her body, an experience that happens every time she dances.  If you ever have the opportunity to watch her, take it…you’ll be blessed.
Posted by brooke alexandra at 01:08:50 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

December 17, 2007

christmas; it's like crack

Lately I’ve been, well, like a kid who can’t wait until Christmas.  I’m counting down the days, marking them off on my Christmas calendar, made especially for the sole purpose of building anticipation of the big day.  I catch myself sitting in the living room staring at the tree, etching every ornament into my memory and recalling Christmas' past.  I get down in the floor and examine all the presents, paying special attention to those with my name, counting just how many I have.  I know, it’s pathetic and very self-absorbed.  But Christmas is like crack for me.  I love it and once I have just a hit of it, I crave it and find it hard to do normal everyday tasks without thinking about how I’m going to get my next fix.

This year I’ve decided that we, my family and I are going to wear Christmas pj’s on Christmas Eve.  At first I wanted us all to wear matching pajamas, but I came to my senses and settled for Christmas themed pajamas instead.  I’ve described in detail to every family member, that they must be “Christmas” pajamas and mostly be painted red.  I feel that having the re-accruing red will not only make Christmas better and special, but also make all the pictures of opening presents on Christmas morning look good, and more like the perfect J. Crew Christmas catalog image I have in my head of the perfect Christmas.  In my dream world I live in the J. Crew catalog.  My husband and I, who currently resides on page 43, live our fabulous life frolicking through the countryside in the finest tailor made clothes. 
Now, even though I obsess over my Christmas list down to every detail, including websites, page numbers, sizes, colors, and backup gifts incase something is out of stock or not in my size, I also get just as obsessed and excited about buying the perfect gift.  I only buy for my family and close friends, everyone else gets a lovely, hand-picked, personal card.  But there are those few special people who even throughout the year I enjoy finding the perfect gift for.  I get off on it.  When I find the perfect gift, the one that oozes that person’s character and just screams, “Yes, this is it!” I become giddy and want to give it to them that instant.  I have a hard time waiting until Christmas.  I get so excited, this year being no exception.  Seeing as it’s 3am and I’m online making yet another purchase.  Christmas is so addictive, along with crack and online shopping.

Where I do all my online shopping:
-Anthropologie  My most favorite place in the world.  They have the best clothes, shoes, bags, and jewelry.  Basically, the best of everything.  I love it oh so much, with all my heart.
-J. Crew
-Sephora
-Moma Store
-Book Soup  A great place to purchase signed first addition books.
-Amazon
Posted by brooke alexandra at 03:19:14 | Permanent Link | Comments (4) |