Foolish Thoughts

Before I fall asleep each night, I pray.  There are certain things I pray for, certain people, certain situations, certain uncertainties, and certainly myself. I always need to be forgiven for something.  Though, my prayer life as an adult is different than my prayer life when I was young.   As a child, I would worry I would forget something or someone. Then, if something happened, it would be my fault.  I also believed there was a
RIGHT WAY to pray. Therefore, I started to write my prayers down.  I knew I would not leave anything out if I first put them to paper. I’m still not sure if I pray the RIGHT WAY, but MY WAY works best for me.  My mother recently found a letter that I wrote to God when I was six.  When I read it, I laughed out loud.  My spelling was horrendous. Though, what I lacked in spelling and grammar I made up for in content and artistic ability. I can actually remember writing this particular letter.  My Grandmother, my father’s mother, was a heavy smoker and I constantly worried that she was going to die like my Grandfather.  This was one of many letters that I wrote to God concerning this issue.   However, letters to God did not compare to the thousands of letters I must have wrote to my mother.  After I would write them, I would go and place them on top of her pillow, so it would be the first thing her eye caught as she stepped into the room.  This was how I apologized and said “I love you”, I always did it in letters.  I only wish my mother would have kept them all.