so what? it doesn’t matter
“What are the things in life that really matter?” I asked myself this question while driving this morning. I find that my thinking process is more philosophical and epiphany like while driving, so much that I’ve started to keep a notebook in the car. Some of my best thoughts and ideas have come to me while driving. I always tell myself, “You have got to remember that”, and I never do…But today was different.
Today, like any other day, I was running late. I have to leave the house no later than 8:45 AM to make it to my clinical by 9:00, leaving me a five minute window for traffic and parking. This morning, my alarm loudly and promptly in its annoying alarm voice woke me up at 7:00 AM. Mad at my alarm and the light coming in from the window, I roll over and hit snooze, at least that’s what I thought I hit. However, in my sleepy, angry, confused state I hit the “off” button. I roll back over, and pass out. I’m not sure what woke me up, but something made me look at the clock…8:39…WHAT THE CRAP? I immediately go into PANIC MODE. Covers and pillows are flying everywhere, the closet explodes shooting debris everywhere, I had to pull an Inspector Gadget to brush my teeth, brush my hair, and wrangle my notebook, keys, and name badge, talk about “Go, go gadget arms and legs.” I was dressed, out the door, and in the car by 8:50. Then, something happened; calm flooded over me and suddenly I didn’t care anymore. “So what if I’m late, so what if my clothes don’t match, so what if I didn’t shower or put deodorant on, so what if I don’t have a lesson prepared (this one actually mattered), so what if I never become a teacher, so what if I never do anything with my degrees, so what if I never do anything…SO WHAT?”
So what does really matter? That I graduate, whether I do anything with my degree or not. Figure out, at some point, what I do want to do and then do it. Live, laugh, and love more. Not care what people think. Give more. Take more. Ask for help, when I need it. Not to be afraid to love and be loved. Let people in. Never give up or stop trying. That it’s ok to get angry. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to fall and falter, just make sure I pick myself back up. To write, write, write, and then write more. See the good in people. Breathe. Keep promises. Listen. Give others a chance. Forgive, forget, and move on. Eat healthy and exercise. Be a little selfish. Set goals and achieve them. Wish for what I want. Keep my head up, chin up, and my attitude high. Never forget, I’m not alone. To me, these are things that matter. I’ve not mastered or applied all of them yet, but eventually, some day I will know and understand what REALLY matters in life.
